Reader call: Negotiating parenting boundaries with your parents

Everyone, please go watch all the muddy fun in the video for "Jump Into The Mud Puddle" by my friend Leo's Mom, who does real classic rock-y music for kids.

I need to apologize for the sparse posting this week. My mother has been here visiting, and we've been so busy I fell way behind on everything I normally do.

Which leads me to my big question: How do you all negotiate parenting boundaries with your own parents or in-laws? My mom and I have never talked about it, but I feel like the way we work together is perfect for us. She's always let me be the mother, but she does step in when I'm not right there or she notices something I'm missing. And I expect the kids to obey her, especially in her house. She makes the rules there, and I back her up. In my house, the rules are mine, and she enforces them if I'm not already doing it.

My dad has been slowly starting to take more responsibility with and for my kids, as I encourage him to.

Do others of you have the same kind of give-and-take with your parents? Or are you having a harder time negotiating how to relate to each other and the kids? If you feel like you've got a handle on it, how did you do it?

With me, I don't think any of it has been me. I think my parents decided a long time ago that since I was an adult they would just relate to me as an adult, and that's facilitated the lack of posturing. It's all been their ability to release control.

Talk to us.