3 1/2-year-olds and the pain they cause

This is a special song that I like to call "WhywhywhwywhwywhyWHY????" It's going out to all of you who have a 3 1/2-year-old.

When I let you choose the popsicle flavor you want, and you still start squealing--WHY?
When I vault across a Lego tower to prevent your older brother from taking Mader out of your hand, and you still burst into wailing tears--WHY?
When I give you a hug and kiss and you respond, "Mama?! I *hate* you!"--WHY?
When I'm pouring the cereal into your bowl right in front of you and you keep on whining about how you want cereal--WHY?

Why you wanna play me like that, sweet potato?

I feed you, love you, hug you, kiss your boo-boos, divide the cookies into two equal parts so you get your share,
I'm giving up the best years of my life and my stomach looks like it's been mauled by an angry lion from the stretchmarks and let's not even talk about my boobs,
But you just keep on freaking out over nothing and refusing to go to sleep.

I'd send you on a long vacation at Grandma's but she's too smart for that,