Q&A: "forced" potty training

Jenny writes:

"My son just turned 2last week.  He goes to daycare 3 days a week, which he seems to enjoy (not as much as time with Mommy, but Mommy's got help bring home the bacon).  He is transitioning from the "Toddler I" class to "Toddler II."  He spends half his day in the first class, then half his day in the second.  In a couple weeks, he'll be in the 2nd class all day.  My problem is with the way they handle potty training in the second class.  They make the effort to help each kid sit on the little potty a few times a day.  They say they are just trying to get the kids used to the idea of the potty, learn what their body does, learn what the toilet does, etc.  They still leave a diaper on them all day, though.  While that all sounds fine and dandy, I have no intention of trying to get my son potty trained in the next few months.  I feel like I'm supposed to be reinforcing this behavior at home, but I just don't want to do it yet.  He's not showing any of the signs that he's interested or ready, and from what I hear about boys, if you start when they're 2, it's going to take you until they're 3-ish anyway.  (I know, all kids are different, but I just know he's not ready yet, and I have no desire to worry about this for a really long time unnecessarily.)

Is it ok to just let the day care people do what they're going to do, and ignore it at home for a while?  I don't want him getting confused, but I also don't want to force the issue when he's not interested yet.

Thanks!  I hope to get a little insight from you and other Moxie readers!"

Mmmmm....bacon. Have you all tried my Bacon-Brown Sugar Coffeecake recipe?


I think that as long as they're not forcing the kids or putting any pressure on them, it's fine. They probably do all kinds of stuff with the kids that you don't do at home, and he's learned that school has one set of rules and expectations and that home has another set.

Also, and I know you didn't ask this because you already know it, but it's totally fine for you not to hop on the potty-training wagon on someone else's schedule. You know your kid and what he's ready for. It's possible that he will end up trained from what they're doing in school, but probably not. (If he does, my bet is that it will be the influence of peer pressure, not the sitting-on-the-potty stuff itself.)

But the bottom line is that I don't think he'll get confused, any more than he gets confused by the difference in his routine during the week and on weekends. So just nod and smile about all of it, and do what you're going to do anyway.

Has anyone else ignored potty training at home while a child was going through the motions at school? How did it go?