In the continuing saga of Verizon Customer Service Hates Women, I went to the store that handed me my old phone without telling me I had to return it and without giving me any paperwork indicating I had to return it. I explained the situation to the manager, who was rude and condescending, and told me there was nothing they could do since they didn't have the device.
I know you don't have the device, because I donated it to charity.
This is ridiculous. Not only are they punishing me for attempting a good deed, they're punishing me for being their customer.