Q&A: How do you tell a friend with fertility issues that you're pregnant?

Sweet Stephanie writes:

"Here's the situation - I'm in my early thirties and we're expecting our second baby in about 5 months.  Several close friends are struggling with fertility issues of various sorts and I'm not sure how to talk about my pregnancy.  I've been avoiding it as I'm not showing much yet, but that will change soon.

With baby #1, these friends either weren't trying yet or were highly optimistic and just starting treatment.  This time around (and 2 years into the process for some of them), if feels like our news will just compound the frustration they're already dealing with.  Obviously there are a million other pregnant women that these friends encounter in other aspects of their daily lives, but I would imagine it's harder with a good friend.  I almost feel disloyal because of this pregnancy - a feeling that I never would have expected. I don't want to insult them by conveying that I think they're too fragile to handle the news, but I also don't want to come across as willfully ignorant of what they're going through.  Do your readers have any advice on how to handle this in a compassionate way?"

This is a great question. I had no idea how to tell my friends who were struggling with fertility difficulties when I was pregnant with my second, either. And you hit on the problems--you don't want to make them feel even more left behind, but you also don't want to hurt them even more by assuming they can't share your joy.

It's just an unfair situation.

Who's got ideas? Readers who experienced or are experiencing infertility? What would make it easier for you to hear about a friend's pregnancy?