Parenting Truths 4: You are not SuperMom (or SuperDad)

There's a whole culture of calling parents who are doing a lot of things "SuperMom!!" or "SuperDad!!" that is meant to praise, but is instead really constricting.

Because it assumes that we a) want to be doing all this stuff, and b) should be doing all this stuff, and c) aren't being negatively affect by all this stress. It assumes the busier is better. That doing it alone with no help is somehow honorable. That "making it look easy" is praise-worthy.

But the truth is that we're tired and stressed and sometimes lonely. We're doing too much, because we have to. And sometimes because in order to do the things that we love, we have to add them on to all the stuff that just has to get done. And it doesn't mean there's anything particularly valiant or morally superior or even extra-strength about us. It just means we're making it, one day at a time.

If you are making it, one day at a time, good for you. If you're making it look easy because you don't express stress externally, that's great. If you're making it because you ask for help, that's great. If you're making it because you complain through it, that's great. Whatever gets you through the crucible of being a parent along with everything else you have to do. Try to give yourself breaks, and don't worry about making sure all your self-care is organic and hand-picked and healthy. Sometimes you just want to sit alone in your car and listen to The Low-End Theory all the way through while eating Red Vines. And that's ok.

You are a person. Who has kids and a bunch of other stuff to take care of. And sometimes you keep all the balls in the air and sometimes you don't. But you're still you, and you're still worthy, even if you don't have a cape or a smile on your face.

Keep going.