My uncle died. He was never married and didn't have kids, and I became his de facto next of kin over the last year or so of his life. He died way too early and I miss him.
My uncle was a really complicated man, but one thing was not complicated: He loved me and I loved him, without an agenda. An I always knew what he never figured out about himself, that he was enough, exactly as he was.
The logistical outcome of his death is that I've been focused on everything that needs doing. My brother and I are doing all the tasks involved in sorting out someone's estate and the legal and financial stuff. The kids and I have moved into my uncle's house to sort and donate and clean and redo it to sell it. I've been processing my grief by watching hours and hours of HGTV. And I've been thinking a lot about all the things I learned in the year I was 42 (it was one of those years that gives answers, after lots of years that asked questions) and from being with my uncle in the months before his death and giving him the best death I could.
There's a project that's going to come out of this. I'll let you know when I know what it is.